


you breathe, i breathe so don't you dare stop

by narcissusetstellae



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, F/F, parentdale, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 23:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18398402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narcissusetstellae/pseuds/narcissusetstellae
Summary: ' “you breathe, i breathe… you can’t just…”you can’t just stop. was what she wanted to say. 'this work is based on a headcanon for hermione i have ( based on rather personal experiences ) and loosely based on the netflix movie 'to the bone'.





	you breathe, i breathe so don't you dare stop

**Author's Note:**

> the only note i'll place here is that this work contains trigger warning for the mention of eating disorders and i want you all to be safe while reading it.  
> be safe first.
> 
> i love you all.
> 
> p.s.: and for anyone out there struggling with it like i once did, don't worry, it might take time but it will be better soon and you'll be safe and happy and healthy again. <3

the image that stayed in her mind is the same that stayed on everybody else’s: hermione falling from the top of the pyramid and lying limp on the grass. 

as she sits in the hospital’s waiting room, penelope can still remember, vividly and in slow motion, as the brunette’s bright smile fades, making room for a frown, brief heaves and an eye roll that just wasn’t her typical sassy one but one that indicates she’s about to pass out. and the worst part? penelope feels like she could’ve prevented that from happening if she’d kept a closer eye on her girlfriend, forced her to eat more, told her more times that she wasn’t fat and that the new vixen uniform fitted her perfectly...

she only notices then how she thought of hermione as her  **official girlfriend** for the first time. of course, they’ve been going out (although in secret so her parents and brother wouldn’t find out), they’re exclusive and pretty much everyone at school has already picked up on the fact that hurricane hermione has settled down and only has eyes for a certain redhead now. and to those who were still oblivious ( aka the blossoms ) the events of the pep rally cleared any doubts as penelope rushed to the field, in tears and held hermione’s body to hers, kissing her face repeatedly as she asked, in desperate whispers,  **_“please, stay with me.”_ **

a gentle shake to her arm pulls her away from her thoughts and she lets her eyes flutter open, the images around coming to focus until she sees a smile that’s exactly like hermione’s... 

“the doctor said you can go in now to see her.” ...and hears this voice that’s also like hermione’s -- it always startles her just how much hermione and her mother, victoria, look alike. out of the only two girls from the gomez’s children, the vivacious vixen is the carbon copy of the mother and it leaves penelope in awe.

she nods slowly and gets up from the cold chair. this isn’t their first rodeo but it is, by far, the worst one. luckily ( really? ) she knows the drill. 

step one, go in. slowly open the door and see hermione lying in bed, still a bit groggy from everything that’s been happening. the brunette girl smiles as if nothing’s happened, although her lips are quivering, indicating she isn’t far from crying. and penelope wants to be mad at her but she just can’t.

instead, she proceeds to step two: rush to said bed and half drape herself over hermione, burying her face into the crook of her neck and letting her own tears make the best of her. in return, the vixen weakly wraps her arms around her and cries as well, wetting the redhead’s amber colored turtleneck sweater.

that leads them to step three: even though she’s not quite allowed to, penelope climbs into bed with hermione and, much like a child tending, curls up to her side, playing with her hospital gown, not really ready to make eye contact again just yet.

they lie there, in silence and with tear stained cheeks, focusing on each other’s breathing. usually, the drill ends here. but this time, penelope surprises the both of them with step four: voicing how she feels.

“you... you can’t scare me like this anymore. not me and not your family. you need to go back to seeing that doctor you said you were going to, mione... this is serious.” she mumbles, slowly looking up at the other girl, who has her eyes set on the ceiling. “are you listening to me?”, the redhead insists, gently, and places a hand on the other’s arm-- it’s so… thin, it worries her. 

hermione nods, trying her best to keep her tears in and a scoff that threatens to leave her lips, at bay. she knows this is an issue. she’s sick but she doesn’t know how to stop or doesn’t know how to ask for her parents for money to go see a doctor simply because she thinks she’s fat and doesn’t want to eat. it doesn’t sound as bad as her brother tito, who’s an addict and  **really** needs help and treatments. it doesn’t sound right.

“ **please** , listen to me. you can’t do this to you. you say you love your curves and-- your ass but... it’s all fading, hermione.  **you** are fading before my eyes and i swear to god... if you slip away...” penelope has to stop and bite her lip to contain her tears, once again. she doesn’t want to make this about her or about them, for that matter. she wants hermione to do this for herself and herself only; for her own good and health. “you breathe, i breathe… you can’t just…”

_ you can’t just stop.  _ was what she wanted to say.

the redhead feels hermione move and turn on her side; a dainty hand touches her cheek. her girlfriend’s fingertips are ice cold; she just doesn’t know if from the air conditioner or lack of food and energy in her body. and it worries her. as it worries her the fact that her cheekbones are way more protruding than they should be.

and then, hermione takes step five.

“i’m sorry.”, it is said in a whisper but it carries meaning and penelope knows, she can  **feel** it, that hermione is as hopeless and clueless as the rest of them when it comes to this. “i... don’t know what i should do, what i’m supposed to do but i will figure it out.  **for you, for them. for me.** ” and, before the other girl could protest by saying she had to put herself first, the petite latina leans in, pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss. “right now, you’re all my priority. especially you, do you think i really am capable of leaving you alone in that super gothic mansion of yours? what about the redecorating i want to do in your room, hm?” and penelope chuckles at that; they both do-- it’s teary but it’s there.

“do you promise?” 

“i  **didn’t ask** to be… sick.  **but i am asking for help** ; right now.” and it’s the first time hermione seems indeed scared and serious about this. “mom didn’t tell you because i asked her not to but i already have an appointment and i want you there, with me. otherwise you know me, i’ll probably rip whatever prescription he gives me to pieces, before even leaving the office.” she says with that sassy, defiant and infamous eye roll penelope missed, even if it just wasn’t present for a couple of hours. “so, are you in?”

“yes.  **but i want to see you eat** , okay? oh! there’s this plant that stimulates the appetite and i know how to make a really good tea! i’ll make sure to have it ready every morning when you arrive at school.”

“that sounds amazing,  **nerd** .” she teases and before penelope can sulk and say she’s not a nerd, the brunette leans in to kiss her again. 

in that moment, because the girl’s just so excited about helping, that energy manages to rub off on hermione and, for the first time, she feels strong enough to fight it all.


End file.
